So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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