I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
my poor anus
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
