You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
