Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
