just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
