Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
