Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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