It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize