did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
