i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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