so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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