So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
