So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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