Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
