booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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