I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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