some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
