he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
