I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize