You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
