idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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