this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
