yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
