I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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