Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
