Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
