You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
