Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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