Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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