Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
