i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
