well you can't waste a boner
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize