OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
