I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have already put on my inside pants.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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