If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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