I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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