Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
