is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
