I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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