you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
