Please, let me fuck your mom
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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