Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
