Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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