Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
