Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
