Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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