Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
