Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
