Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
