Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

How drunk are you??

(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm flawless.

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(205): View more from Alabama

it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.

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(303): View more from Colorado

i have a dinosaur tramp stamp

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident

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(443): View more from Maryland

she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?

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(614): View more from Ohio

first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out

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