People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
