Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
