My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
