bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
