just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
