it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
