Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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