i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
