All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
