She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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