He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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