i need an iv and a liver transplant
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
