i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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