Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
