so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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