we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
