Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I will pee on everything he values.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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