just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
