so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
