somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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