he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
