I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
