Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
