I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize