And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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