He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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