Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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