Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
