I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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