Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
