we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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