that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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