He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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