Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
