I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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