Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
