Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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