So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
